False generosity. I have to be honest with myself about my real motivation in giving 25 gifts, one to each senior. Unlike real, pure generosity, this was laced with self-serving interests. Not for my students to like me or to think of me as generous, but to give myself the gift of cleaning. It gave me so much pleasure to get rid of stuff. Of course I deliberately chose a gift for each student that connected to something personal I've noticed about them. A comic book, movie, map, etc. Some of the items were special to me, like my own books from college. But what is more precious to me is breathing room, creating space for a new flow, and passing forward something on the chance that it might mean something to someone else. They say people who are planning suicide start to give away their possessions. Well, I've been contemplating killing this career, and derive some satisfaction in dispersing my belongings. Ironically, the more space I create - to move, to breathe - the easier it feels to stick it out!