Though I didn't watch even one second of it, something lodged in my mind during the Superbowl and - shockingly, for the first time in my life - I've actually been thinking about football ever since. More specifically, I've been thinking about the job of the "receiver." Of course, I needed some education on the topic, so I consulted my local expert who explained to me the basics of the job: catch ball, run, pass, score.

Those steps might be out of order (something about not running with the ball), and what the difference is with a wide receiver, I couldn't tell you, never-mind other peculiarities like a tight end...but as for the all important job of a receiver, Wikipedia calls them:

a pass catching specialist, or someone whose principal role is to catch passes.

Isn't that what we need to set a game in motion - someone who is ready to play? Not just the one to kick it all off (trying out my new vocabulary, I believe that would be called the quarterback, but I could be wrong), but also the one who is ready and waiting to grab onto what's coming their way?

So often, things seem to fall flat - near misses, fumbles - and it gets discouraging out there on the field. Sports are dreadfully boring (to me), but a good receiver feels like a total game-changer, turning it into a I want-to-stay-in-this-game kind of game. The kind of quality working partnership that's worth getting started and continuing, like a dance, or a good conversation.

My year-long release, this free-flow pouring out, is great and all but much greater with a recipient of some kind. Granted, I'm not exactly hurtling flying objects at record speed. But even on my slow and subtle level, I still want someone to await this pass. With open arms.

Someone who can pick up exactly where and when and what is coming. Who can keep the whole thing in motion. Maneuver obstacles and get to the next safety zone. Who's aiming for me at the same time that I'm aiming for them. Who adjusts as necessary, because it's all about seeing and seizing that pass. In that moment. And then, who can take it a step further, or even run with it, or even score.

A receiver. Yes, please. Now I'm thinking that's a job actually worth those big bucks.

For Lent, I'd like to say I got rid of negative thinking, or striving, or managed to:

"Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander
along with every form of malice"

Ephesians 4:31

but I'm still getting rid of stuff (slightly obsessed). Somehow with every physical layer comes an emotional layer and it all feels like a big weight off. Originally I thought I'd do one item per day but it ended up being a big pile of 185 things to add to my running list, for a grand total of 365. Because every day matters.

It's actually hard to get rid of stuff, sometimes for logistical reasons and sometimes for emotional reasons. This lenten season was slightly different than my usual purge in that I tried to release more emotionally significant things, asking myself - really, why hang onto this? - something I think is worth questioning of every item in my house and especially in my heart.

I've seen too up close and personal how the inward environment gets manifested in the outward environment. Or how the outward environment mirrors the inner world. One mess can reflect a deeper mess, like strange Russian dolls, making us smaller with every layer. Living in that kind of cemetery is no kind of life for me. So, in the (belated) spirit of Easter, here's to opening tombs and any removing barriers to our inner and outer sanctuaries.

40 CDs
40 more CDs for school physics project
15 cases for school art project
3 gowns to school costume department
5 piles of clothes donated
2 more huge bags donated to Big Brother / Big Sister
2 clothing consigned
1 slipcover and the huge box it came in
1 big bag of Real Simple magazines
1 Print Gocco awesomeness
5 gifts
18 books
18 gifts for my seniors
1 picnic basket
5 pairs of shoes
3 DVDs
2 websites
4 products
1 planter
1 table
1 filing cabinet
1 big rug
11 years of sent email from 2015 -> 2005 (may regret this)
4 ex-boyfriend items, each from a different relationship spanning the past 17 years: a necklace re-gifted, a broken bracelet, a lovely little something, my home-made journal (but saved poem, since it's gorgeous, and since he became famous, ugh.)